“Not Okay”: MovieBob on Sexism and Harassment in Nerd Culture. (via jerrymuffinbutt)
always relevant
(via lettherebecramp)
Time to share my experiences with him. I first learned of him when someone reblogged a screencapped ask of who appeared to be a PoC female. His response was full of racism, vitriol, irrational ranting about Black people, and misogyny. I…
(Source: thinkspeakstress)
anuttyoldbat:i-am-watsoned:penisparker:aweepingangel:
WHAT THE FUCK
NO WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
omg WHAT?
what the fuck
The thing is, of course, that these comments are incredibly misguided, misogynistic, and disgusting — but this is the only reblog I’ve seen on this post that didn’t have a comment somewhere on it that decried the women who made the comments and not the comments THEMSELVES or the societal conditioning that caused them to be made. The real tragedies of this whole fiasco come down to: 1) Rihanna, and 2) the reinforcement in society that this kind of event and attitude are okay.
These comments are incredibly misguided, misogynistic, and disgusting. But they exist not out of willful or innate (gendered) stupidity — they exist because events like tonight’s Grammys, the content of MANY songs and artists that the Grammys traditionally honor, the music videos (and every single fucking other show) that VH1 and MTV air, the things yelled in hallways from middle school all the way through college, and comments on the internet say that this attitude, this perspective of “men are only sexy men if they’re ~putting women in their place~ and SEX = VIOLENCE” are okay.
Sex and violence are not the same. Sex and violence should never be treated as the same. There is sex, and there is violence, but there is not sexy violence. Even painplay in consensual sex is not “sexy violence.” If the sex and play are consensual, they’re just sex. If they’re not, then it’s just violence. There is no true blend of the two — ever.
But somehow, cultural messaging has gotten mixed up and started to propagate this idea that violence and sex are the same, in part by excusing violence by people who are then marketed as “sexy” and erasing the horror of their violence (like Chris Brown) OR by mass-marketing this idea that All Women Like To Be Dominated/Like Rough Sex and Violence Is The Path To Masculinity And Sexual Dominance.
NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS ARE TRUE.
There is nothing sexy about true violence. For a LOT of people (who are of wholly better intentions than these original commenters) there are a lot of sexy aspects of illusions of violence in sex — anything under the umbrellas of D/s and BDSM, pain play, bloodplay, breathplay, whatever; your kinks are yours — but AS LONG AS THEY’RE CONSENSUAL, THAT IS NOT VIOLENCE. The media’s constant insistence that they are “violent/violence,” and that sex itself must be violent to be “sexy,” create the misguided and dangerous conditions where comments like this are being made.
What Chris Brown did to Rihanna was absolutely not consensual. It was not safe, or sane. It was brutal, it was horrific, and it was out of control. It was violence.
Violence is never sexy.
And we really need to start teaching, on a societal level, that sex and violence have nothing to do with each other and should never, ever overlap.
This is why we can’t have nice things.
