"When you finally get to the point where you can afford multiple grocery trips and fresh ingredients and have the time to prepare them, your taste buds freak the fuck out. They’re not used to it. The flavors and textures are all wrong, and there’s a real temptation to keep eating the same shit until it stops your heart at age 43." — John Cheese #CrackedClassic
POSTING NUDES DOES NOT MEAN YOU LACK SELF RESPECT.
POSTING PROVOCATIVE IMAGES DOES NOT MEAN YOU LACK SELF RESPECT.
POSTING SKIN DOES NOT MEAN YOU LACK SELF RESPECT.
POSTING SEXUAL IMAGES OF YOURSELF DOES NOT MEAN YOU LACK SELF RESPECT.
YOU CAN RESPECT YOUR BODY AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT AND SHARE IT WITH WHOMEVER YOU WISH, AND THAT IS NOT A BAD THING.
IF YOU’RE EVER FEELING SAD JUST REMEMBER THAT TOM HIDDLESTON DREW LOKI AND HE WAS SO PROUD OF HIS WORK THAT HE TOOK A PICTURE OF HIM AND THE DROWING
HE LOOKS SO PLEASED WITH HIMSELF
HE EVEN NAME IT “LOKI, BY LOKI”
To everyone who has to work at a store during Black Friday
Dear Mom and Dad,
This is what happiness looks like. Sorry you were so miserable in your own lives that you couldn’t allow me a chance at my own. I went out and found it anyway. I miss you, and will miss you even more this holiday season since you won’t allow me to come back home unless I have a woman on my arm. Oh by the way, we’ll still be using the family recipe for the stuffing, I’m sure it’ll be a hit with our friends.
Your son, his boyfriend, and our spoiled cat
This is a great movie.
What I want to say EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Baristas are paid minimum wage to follow their company’s policies. That includes using whatever terms their company decides on for branding purposes. If you want a frappuccino instead of a frappe, a large instead of a venti, or whatever other thing you wanna call your drink, that’s fine. Your barista? They are paid shitty wages and work shitty hours and have to deal with hundreds of people telling them medium instead of grande, or large instead of venti (which refers to the fact that it is, actually, 20 oz of liquid, meaning you’re being a jackass for no reason).
Your barista isn’t stupid. They know what a fucking ‘large’ is and they know their store’s branding and slang sounds dumb to a lot of people. So how about, instead of being an asshole to a minimum wage worker, you consider why you keep buying $6 coffees instead of making that shit at home.
I’ll say that one more time.
Your barista is not stupid.
They know what a large is, what a medium is, and what a small is.
They also know they can be fired for not toeing the company line. And they can be fired for not standing there and taking the abuse you’re spewing at them.
They are being paid to not fight back. They are being paid to stand there all day and translate medium to grande and venti and large and regular and all while you bitch about the specific words you “have” to use. They are being paid to be welcoming and friendly and nice to you while you call them stupid.
Bitch, I know baristas with Ph.Ds, okay? Back the fuck off.
I think it’s fucking dumb and don’t pay for the fucking six dollar coffees.
I go to the other coffee place, where the coffee is two seventy five and comes in small, medium, and fucking large.
Like it’s supposed to.
Being a barista is a shit job, I know. Don’t be a dick to them. If it annoys you as much as it annoys me, don’t get coffee there.